FSB Author Article
Bringing
Baby Home: Your Postpartum Plan
By Lucy J. Puryear, M.D.,
Author of Understanding Your Moods
When You're Expecting
You went in to this pregnancy with
one goal in mind; bringing a new
baby into your home. One of the most important ways you can
prepare
for this enormous event is to make plans for those first six weeks
after delivery. Bringing a baby home is not about what color is
right
for the nursery or do the socks I bought match the outfit Aunt Doris
sent? There are more important issues to consider before you
carry
that cuddly sweet bundle across the threshold.
The most
important plans include: What kind of help will I need when I get
home? Who will come to visit and when? Will your husband
take off
work during the first week, or will he wait until later when the
company is gone. How will you make sure you get enough sleep?
Having a
well-thought-out plan will help decrease the sense of being overwhelmed
when the nurse puts the baby in your arms and you realize this new
little person is going home with you. It also will minimize your
risk
of developing anxiety and depression.
For some women, the
answer to these questions is easy: Mom of course. Some new
grandmothers go into superwoman mode when there is a new baby in the
house. They cook, clean, do laundry, and get up with the baby in
the
middle of the night. But not every woman is so lucky, or this
plan may
not work for you. If, for example, you don't have a good
relationship
with your mother or mother-in-law immediately after the birth might not
be the best time for her to visit. A newborn will stress even the
healthiest relationship, let alone one where there is already
resentment or hurt feelings. In these cases, ask your mother or
mother-in-law to come when the baby is four to six weeks old. You
will
fell physically better and have a better handle on how to care for your
baby. Tell her you want her to come when you'll be more settled
and
have more time to enjoy her visit. If she insists on coming
immediately after the baby is born, explain that you have a plan for
who will be helping when and ask her to honor that. She's welcome
to
come, but when you and your baby come home from the hospital, your
needs must take priority.
Do not schedule all of your help to
come for the first two weeks. Many new mothers have described to
me
the total terror they felt when all of the relatives went home and they
were alone. You go from having too many hands to having
none. Ask you
mother to come the first week, your mother-in-law the second, your
sister the third, and your best friend from Albuquerque the
fourth.
They will enjoy not having to compete with one another to hold the baby
and will have more of your attention. You will enjoy not being
overwhelmed with company and will be glad to have the help spread out
over a longer period of time. By the end of the fourth week, you
should be feeling much more confident in your role as a new mother.
Some new families decide that they want to get used to the new baby
without outside interference during the first week. This can work
well
as long as your partner understands that you will need a lot of
help.
Other families decide to wait until all the relatives have gone home
for the father to take time off from work. That way, he can be
with
his new family after things have calmed down. It might not make
sense
for Dad to take time off when there is other help available and he will
be competing with being part of the team.
Remember this is your baby
and your new family. Make sure that you feel like you're in
charge
and can ask for the help you need, when you need it.
©2008 Lucy J. Puryear, M.D. Adapted from Understanding
Your Moods When You're Expecting by Lucy
Puryear, copyright © Lucy Puryear. Reprinted by permission
of
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights
reserved.
Author Bio
Lucy
Puryear is a
practicing psychiatrist specializing in women's reproductive mental
health. She has been director of the Baylor Psychiatry Clinic, Baylor
College of Medicine, and was an expert witness for the defense in the
trial of Andrea Yates. She is the mother of four and lives in Houston,
Texas.