FSB Author Article
Excerpt
The following is an excerpt from the book This Year I
Will . .
.
by M. J. Ryan
Published by Broadway Books; December
2006;$15.95US/$19.95CAN; 978-0-7679-2008-7
Copyright © 2006 by M. J. Ryan
Strongly Set Your Intention
The truth is that, no matter what kind of game you
find yourself in, no
matter how good or bad the luck, you can change your life completely
with a single thought.
--David Gregory Roberts
My friend Linda has had serious health problems for the past six years that have left her with limited energy and ability to engage with life. She's determined to get healthier this year. "I recently became aware of how powerful a positive intention is," she explained to me. "I strongly believe that we bring into being what we persistently focus on. When you don't feel well, it's easy to spiral down into worry that you never will be well and inadvertently focus on that. So I consciously use a daily intention to keep my focus on what I want, not what I don't.
"Here's what I do. When I wake in the morning, regardless of how I'm feeling, I look for what does feel good. Rather than focusing on my head hurting, for instance, I focus on the fact that my legs are working well. Then I remind myself that my intention is to feel good today. As I go through the day making choices, I ask myself, Will this food make me feel good? Will this exercise make me feel good? Will this conversation make me feel good?"
I love Linda's approach. It's a very powerful yet simple way to use intention like the North Star, a way to notice where you already have some of what you want and orient through the day to get more of it.
I began to suggest her approach to clients. To the woman who wanted more peace, I suggested she notice with gratitude the peace she is already experiencing, set her intention for peace during the day, and ask herself at choice points whether the action before her would bring her more peace. When she got an annoying e-mail from a coworker or a demanding call from her mother about a family event on the weekend, she'd asked herself, What response would bring me the greatest peace? This allowed her to let things go that she would normally have gotten upset about and to respond in more thoughtful ways to coworkers and family members.
To the man who wanted to be thinner, I suggested that first thing in the morning, he should stop and notice when he's eaten right so far, set his intention to eat well that day, and then make choices accordingly. Will eating this help me with my intention to be thinner? he now asks before putting anything into his mouth.
What both clients discovered was that this simple practice made it easier to get to where they wanted to go. That's because one of our greatest allies of transformation is intention -- the drive to do something different. Intention is not wanting, wishing, or hoping; it's the determination to do. Intention allows us not to be prisoners of the past, but to shape a better future by the thoughts we hold in the present. With intention, we indicate to ourselves that we are going to do something no matter what. And by noticing where and when we've already gotten what we intend to, we recognize that what we're looking for already exists in us. It's a matter of focusing our intention so that it can grow even stronger and taking the actions that make our intention turn into reality.
One powerful way to signal intention as we set out is to create some kind of ritual to mark our commitment. This is particularly useful if we've tried to make this change before. For instance, Joan had been a smoker for more than twenty years. She'd quit for brief periods of time. But she knew that she was stopping for good the day she and two friends decided to do a smoking funeral. They went to a hillside and smoked for a final time. Then they buried their cigarettes and matches and declared their intention to live cigarette free.
It's been almost twenty years since that day and Joan has never touched another cigarette. I believe her ceremony helped a lot. Here's why. When we declare, ''I'm going to do this (live more simply, find a life partner, put myself on my to-do list) and back it up with some kind of ceremony, we engage all of our brain on behalf of what we want. Stating an intention is a left-brained activity. It's logical and analytic. Expressing that same intention in a ceremony engages our right brain, where images and symbols reside. With both sides activated, we're more likely to succeed.
The ceremony doesn't have to be elaborate. It can be as simple as writing down what you are letting go of and then burning up the paper. Or finding a heart-shaped stone that represents your intention to take good care of yourself and finding a special place to display it. Think about whether you would like someone else present. The presence of witnesses, like at a wedding, help confirm that you really mean it.
Draw on the power of intention to help you succeed. As Abraham Lincoln, who lost elections over and over before coming president, once said: "Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing."
Increasing Self-Esteem:
"Liking Myself Better Tomorrow"
"I've been working with a personal trainer, who's really helped me get in better shape physically," said Michael. "But mentally I'm still very down on myself. He, however, is always so upbeat. One day I asked him what his secret was. He told me that before he goes to sleep, he asks himself, 'How can I live so that tomorrow is a great day?' It helps him focus on what he truly wants. Inspired by him, I began telling myself that it is my intention to like myself better tomorrow. It helps me to wake up in a more positive frame of mind and to take actions that make that intention true. At night, I review the day and again set my intention. Even my wife's noticed a difference in the way I'm thinking about myself."
Copyright © 2006 by M. J. Ryan