FSB Author Article
10 Tips to Creating a New Life Direction
By Laura Berman Fortgang,
Author of Now What?: 90 Days to a New
Life Direction
1. Make a list of all you can't stand about
work/life
Those
who are really stuck may complain that they don't know what they
want. Not true. Make a list of all you do not want or like about
your current situation and you will find on the flip side, something
you DO want! Write it down.
2. Recognize that ALL change (good or bad) means
loss
The 'evil' we know is sometimes less scary than the
'evil' we
don't know. It
is
normal to be afraid to make a change because of what you stand to
lose. However, the only way is forward, so you might as well accept
whatever perceived loss of status, money or identity and realize that
more happiness awaits. In fact, if everyone else is telling you you
are crazy for making
a change, you are on the right track!
3. Reframe 'I can't!' to 'I can!'
"I'm
not good enough." "I'm too old." "I'm not qualified."
NOT TRUE! Look for
examples in your life, your surroundings, in the media or in books of
people who have done things against the odds and use those examples
as symbols of what's possible for you. Change your vocabulary and
watch your results change.
4. Understand how the past got you stuck today
Many
of us make vows when we are young that get us stuck as adults. "I'll
never be like my parents!" "I won't be poor!" "I'll show
them!" Whatever it is, the motivation you chose at some early point
worked but is no longer working now. Determine what your old
motivation for your life was, decide if it still serves you and if
not, CHANGE it. Fast!
5. Realize that discovering your 'purpose' does
not have to be hard or grand
Many
people, when searching for direction in their life may also be
putting their life's purpose into question. Most make the mistake
of thinking they have
to have a Mother Teresa-level of purpose to rate. It's just not
true and that likely keeps you stuck or suffering. Who you are
everyday and what you do naturally (whether it fits your job
description or not) is your purpose. How you affect others
positively is your purpose. What you contribute that is uniquely you
is your purpose. It's right under your nose. Recognize
it and try to make it central to whatever you do next.
6. Gain a criteria for happiness
Most
people know they are not satisfied but really lack clear criteria for
what will make them happy. Humans feel satisfied when their needs
are met and they don't have to compromise their values. Write down
what you truly need (emotionally, not financially) and value. Do you
need stability? Honesty? Recognition? Do you value spirituality?
Adventure? Education?
These are not optional. Get purposeful about getting these things
in your life and new directions become clear.
7. Research ALL that interests you
List
all fields, jobs, careers, or areas of interest. Choose no more than
three at a time to research. Besides the internet, try to talk to
people who will
let you have an informational interview or give you the real scoop on
the areas you are interested in. A process of elimination will begin
and one
particular area may get traction through luck and coincidence that
starts to feel like the front-runner.
8. Tell the truth about your money life
Money
is usually the first thing that stops people from pursuing what they
truly want. Don't let it stop you. Get straight with your money.
Even if it's painful to see, know what you have and don't. Don't
let it stop you. Moonlight, borrow or barter to move toward your new
direction.
9. Put Yourself in Opportunity's Way
It's
time to push the envelope. Take risks, get out of your comfort zone
and get out there. See opportunity where it is -- everywhere -- and
don't be shy about asking for favors or things that seem pushy. There
are great rewards out there when you put yourself on the line.
10.Create a Plan
and Get Support
Make a
timeline for how you are going to cross over into something new. It
usually takes 1-3 years to fully transition into a new direction. Don't
fret. Make a monthly plan and get plenty of cheerleaders
around you. No naysayers!
Hire a coach or get a group of like minded folks around you and you
will be settled in a new, satisfying direction before you know it.
And note: Unbearable situations seem more bearable when you know you are on your way out. Hang in there!
©2009 Laura Berman Fortgang, author of Now
What?: 90 Days to a New Life Direction
Author Bio
Laura Berman Fortgang, author
of Now
What?: 90 Days to a New Life Direction, is a
pioneer in the life-coaching
profession. A renowned speaker and the president and owner of
InterCoach, Inc., a full-service life-coaching business that works with
individuals, small businesses, and corporations, she is also the author
of The Little Book on Meaning, Living Your Best Life and Take
Yourself to the Top.
She lives in Montclair, New Jersey.
For more information please visit http://www.nowwhatcoaching.com