FSB Author Article
Anatomy of an Affair
By Nicole Williams,
Author of Girl on Top: Your Guide to
Turning
Dating Rules into Career Success
Sparks
Fly
You meet someone who sparks your interest. He appreciates
your ideas, you make a great professional team and he always says how
smart you are and how great you look in your new suit. He may not be
your usual type, but there is chemistry and he makes you feel alive.
You're
Infatuated
There is a skip to your step and a buzz in your
head -- you have a crush, and at this point it seems fun and
harmless. Your new flame is giving you the praise and conversations
that you miss with your mate. In the back of your mind, you hear a
faint warning bell, but this is way too much fun. You quickly hustle
away the warning signs.
Welcome
to Fantasy Island
You are now thinking constantly about this
person. All of a sudden, you could care less if your boyfriend
doesn't bother to call. You're too busy expertly contriving ways
to bump into your new flame in the corridor and thinking up
interesting, yet provocative questions to ask via e-mail.
Let
the Games Begin
You've been "bumping into each other"
for a while now. Your confidence in this interaction is growing. One
of you finds a way to let the other person know there is an interest.
Think of it as a game of tennis. He may hit the first volley into
your court with, "I so enjoy spending time with you." If you
respond with "I like spending time with you too," you may find
yourself engaged in a warm-up game, volleying subtle remarks back and
forth during your interactions. Watch out. The intimacy level deepens
and the momentum quickens with every volley.
You
Cross the Line
At some, often indiscernible point, you've
started having an affair. Whether it is purely emotional or emotional
and physical, you've crossed the line and you know it -- actually
you knew long before you crossed but now you have to face up to it.
Look
in Your Own Backyard
If you are involved in a committed
relationship and you find yourself attracted to a man at the office,
the real issue resides in your own backyard. In all likelihood,
you're discouraged, lonely and you feel taken for granted. On some
level, you feel an emotional vacuum in your personal life. It has
been a while since you really felt "seen" by your partner.
©2009 Nicole Williams, author of Girl on Top:
Your Guide to
Turning
Dating Rules into Career Success
Author Bio
Nicole Williams, author
of Girl on Top: Your Guide to
Turning
Dating Rules into Career Success, is the best-selling
author of Wildly Sophisticated: A Bold New Attitude for Career
Success and Earn What You're Worth, and the founder of
WORKS by Nicole Williams, the first media and content company marketed
toward young professional women. Her advice is featured regularly in
major media outlets including Elle, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Marie
Claire, the Wall Street Journal, and the Financial
Times. Nicole
also regularly appears on The Today Show, ABC's Primetime,
Good Morning America,
Fox News, and CNN.
You can visit Nicole's websites at www.NicoleWilliams.com and www.GirlOnTopBook.com.